(1) I Believe in the value of intentionally diverse living and learning communities.
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” - Mark Twain
Going away from home for your university experience will broaden your mind and enrich your world in ways you can only begin to imagine. Beyond what you can gain from any other travel experience, going away from home for college/university study means that you have the opportunity to become a part of an intentionally diverse living and learning community.
Think about that.
Intentionally diverse: Many universities have set an institutional priority to bring students together from all different kinds of backgrounds. This means every kind of diversity: geographic, religious, racial, socioeconomic, philosophical, etc. Their goal, as they "shape their class" each year, is to create a group of students who can learn not only from their professors, but from one another.
Living and learning communities: Students who not only take classes together, but also live together, are better able to learn from one another every day. Your classroom discussions will be enriched by the fact that people see the world through different lenses, and have different ideas to share. That enrichment will spill over into your interactions with the people who live in your residence hall or are members of the clubs you join.
There is no other experience like this.
(2) the student belongs in the driver's seat throughout this process.
“There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots; the other, wings.” - W. Hodding Carter II
The decisions about where to go and what to study at the university level may be, in some ways, the first adult decisions of your life. While your parents and counselor (hopefully me, should you choose for us to work together) are here to support and guide you, ultimately the decisions should be yours.
Obviously, your parents may have some limitations for you - financial or otherwise. I'll try to help you work within those limitations to make decisions that will work for your entire family.
I won't complete your university applications or write essays for you - that's not my job, it's yours. But each time we meet, I'll do my best to give you recommendations and guidance. After that, it's your decision how much of my advice you wish to follow. Ownership of this process will never leave your hands.
(3) college admissions tests may be important, but we must keep their importance in context.
"The one size fits all approach of standardized testing is convenient but lazy." - Richard Dyson
There are ways in which you are amazing that can never be measured by a standardized test. However, some colleges and universities continue to require them for admission. Until that ends, I'll continue to try to help students prepare, but also keep testing in context - for most universities, they are absolutely not the most important factor by any means. Many schools don't need them at all - I can help you find those too!
(4) in every culture, there is a prescribed "path to happiness." Question the path, and step off if you need to.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost
Where I grew up, the perceived "path to happiness" was as follows: finish high school; go to college; meet someone special there and get married shortly after graduation; get a job; buy a house; get a dog or a cat; have 2.3 children... etc. etc. etc. The part that people sometimes left out of that story was that it often led to people who, around age 40-50, stopped and looked at their lives and said, "I did everything I was supposed to do. Why am I so unhappy?"
The answer to that question is fairly simple: Question the path. At every step along the way, you have to stop and ask yourself if that step is right for you. If it isn't, take your next step in a different direction. The farther you travel down the wrong path, the farther you get from joy.
Question your career path. Stop wondering “What will I do for the rest of my life?” and instead, acknowledge that your professional pathway will evolve over time, so the real question is “What would I like to do first?” Question when (and if) you want to go to college, when (and if) you want to get married, when (and if) you want to have children. Question where to live, and how to live. You have more choices than you know.
(5) integrity is everything.
in·teg·ri·ty (noun)
1. The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.
2. The state of being whole and undivided.
If you are looking to work with someone who can “get you in” with some sort of “secret strategy” or “side door” to admission, let me be abundantly clear — I am not that kind of counselor. (And frankly, I strongly encourage you to reconsider what you’re looking for, or you may find yourself in very hot water.)
Admittedly, there are people who do this work without integrity. I am not one of those people, and I never will be. I am nothing without my good name, so I strive to preserve it always by acting with integrity. I also expect my students and their families to act with integrity throughout this process, and I will tolerate nothing less.
I will be honest with you, with your family, and with every professional with whom I come into contact. As the definition above says, I am whole and undivided. I work for students and their families; I am not an agent for schools, universities, or programs. I will not be pressured by anyone into behaving unethically. I will avoid conflicts of interest, or even the perception thereof.